Just Say, "NO to stupid CL Regulars."
CLOSED for Posting -Please POST to the Current Month - These are for Read Only ....
The following are archived postings for the Month of July 2007.
I will be archiving my postings, at least for awhile.
I kept these because this was the first month of people supporting this NEW alternative to craigslist.org Rants and Raves.
Net Neutrality Means -
No Flagging Ever
No Censorship
Thanks for your support.
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746 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 746 Newer› Newest»re, Home Depot
OMG, every time I use that stupid self-checkout at The Home Depot, it is annoying as hell. I had to use the damn thing yesterday, and yes, I had to take all my multiple items and scan them one by one... scan... wait... see it register... please put in the bagging area... scan the next one... wait... over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... LOL
Mosquitos in Arizona, you betcha!
Even if it hasn't rained, although it did a bit this morning. Every time I clean the pool they sting my legs if I have shorts on. I've looked all around for any pools of water they might be breeding in and found nothing. So I must resort to wearing jeans when I clean the pool then the damn mosquitos fly around my arms and face trying to get a bite! Damn things!
re, Mosquitos
You wanted a pool now live with it. I hope they eat you alive.
re, Mosquitos -
You whinny ass little sissy turd.
Get a life.
16 Things to do at Walmart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!" "I choose you!"
Anyone seen my cordless drill?
Anyone seen a Makita drill, Sony camera floating around? Looks like mine were taken from my apartment by some so-called friends. You know who you are. You're the peice of shit who has no other way of surviving besides taking from others who have done nothing but help you out. Your time will come. It won't be me that has anything to do with your personal downfall because I have better things to do with my time, but life has a way of taking care of people like you.
re, Home Depot
I love Home Depot in the morning, or almost anytime for that matter. You can not find help if your life depended on it. It's rare I have to ask any questions. But on occasion it would be nice to find someone. After 30 minutes looking for what I needed and finding it I see two HD employees walking together across the store. They said "good morning" and I said "you two better hide because you're the only two out here. The rest found a better hiding spot than the two of you..." They didn't get it and kept walking. Now a good employee would have stopped and said "I'm sorry, is there something I can help you find? Or did you have a question?" But no, they keep going....
re,mosquitoes
Get yourself an outdoor bug light. Put it on a timer to come on at night. It won't get them all but it zaps many around here. Thin the herd. Put it on the ground and things crawling get zapped too. But put it as far away from your house as you can. It works great for me!
All REALTORS Suck.
Seller - Sell it yourself.
Buyers - Buy only a FSBO
sex change
I have decided to be changed into a cat so i can run the streets with all the other pussies in heat.
REAL ESTATE in Arizona -
Real estate ,you gotta love it. I bought a TRAILER back in 92 in flagstaff.I paid $22,500.00 it was rented every month since then for $575.00 per month. BACK IN FEBUARY IT BURNT TO THE GROUND - the cops said it looked like maybe a meth lab.I don't know I just collected the trailer rent.the insurance company only gave me $10,000 and I sold the bare lot friday for $209,900.00. does it get any better? the answer is yes. right after I bought that one I bought 3 others in flagstaff and a half a dozen others in other mountain towns in the west. YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stalin new how 2 deal with facist, greed, coorupt politicians, and anyone who was anti-Soviet.
May be we should learn from him ...
In America execute all corrupt politicians, wall street greedy tycons, lobbyist, lawyers, realtors, mortgage lenders, car salesmen, people in the country illegally,
flag burners, HOA board members, crooked govt workers, news media people who support our enemies, all Muslims, people in prison, gang members, liberals, and right wing religious nuts.
Wow what a great country we would have !!!!!
Say it, say it too yourself, then tell others, we must clean up America.
re, Sex Change
Cool, if you were a cat you would be nuetered, made to shit in a box, and have to chase a string on the end of a pole for excitement. Wait a minute, thats not to far from your life now, is it? ( I'm not laughning at you, i'm laughing with you, not)
Boycott McDonalds
Just to make everyone aware that the owner of many Arizona McDonald's franchises is lobbying against the new Illegal Immigrant hiring laws, signed by the Governor. He's making his money on illegals and has no concern for our Constitution and state laws. Pass the word around to boycott McDonalds.. hit 'em where it hurts worst, "in THE WALLET."
"Help Illegal Immigration, Hire a Registerd Contractor"
This message is brought you by every unpatriotic American citizen who holds a REGISTERED CONTRACTORS LICENSE in the State of Arizona.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
WE screw you the old fashioned way, ...in a missionary position.
"Illegal Mexican Labor, The Other White Meat !"
(a Product of Greedy Bastards for Pork Money, LLC)
I don’ know what’s worse..
1. Having your girlfriend find out you’re married.
2. Explaining to you wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3. Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
?????????
I really want to know in the average man's opinion over 30, just what is your definition of a 'High Maintenance Woman?'
re, ???????
If you look in the dictionary under "high-maintenance", you will see a picture of my ex. But that isn't surprising, she is also under "lying", "manipulative", "cheating", and about another 5 or so words.
P.S. I don't know the definition of "high-maintenance", but I know it when I see it.
re, ???????
I'm 42 ... A ;High Maintenance Woman' to me is the constant need for excessive jewelry that typically goes in a box, the every weekend high end dining, the $500 plus for a pair of damn shoes on a regular basis, the constant "I don't have anything to wear" but the closet is bursting, and the obsessive need to outdo the girlfriends.
A vote for Obama.......
Is a vote for Osama.
No rag head sand nigga Muslim anti American in the White House.
Now can't you jackasses understand that?.
RE:Obama
I do not even need to do any research on this guy. He is a Muslim. I do not trust any Muslims.
Mass Illegal Deportation in the Southwest -
Just think of the positives ....
Lighter traffic congestion by far.
Hit and run accidents drop by 98%.
Insurance rates drop 50%.
Neighborhood crime drops 170%.
Property values increase by 45%.
The air will be 99% cleaner without all them damn leaf blowers. (White people use brooms).
You can actually go to the Home Depot and buy something you need without running over 4 illegals.
And last but not least, Children will be named Jimmy, Jack, Bob, Kim, Michelle, and Carrie ... NOT Jose or Maria!
Ahhh Thunderstorms:
I like heavy RAIN it's like a cow peeing on a flat rock!
Remember: There's no war except the War of the Classes ...
Rich against everyone else !!!
The internet is screwing people up
Internet dating, online social networks, instant messaging, email, myspace, anonymous hate, porn everywhere and much more ... It's all just a piece of glass and electricity you are staring at and getting so wrapped up in.
No different from TV.
I yearn for the day the whole damn thing crashes under some cyber-attack and we are free of it for at least a month.
FREE 4 the Taking -
For anyone desperate enough to take her
Need to get rid of one incredibly headstrong, independent, stubborn fiancee. She doesn't do dishes, take out trash or put out (for me anyway). She never cleans her room and won't even clean if you pay her (she'll take the money though). She eats enough in one day to feed a starving family for a month. Her only form of exercise is shopping.
All you need to get this fabulous creature is a truck big enough for her stuff. Did I mention she is a pack rat??? And a wallet that is as bottomless as Mary Poppins' bag to support her fast food habit.
Only reply if serious.
re, High Maintenance.
Here is a 3 question test ....
Answer these questions, these are hypothetical. Be HONEST with yourself, what is your FIRST instinct?
1) If you are on a date with a guy and HE'S buying, and happens to opt to use a coupon, do you consider him :
A) Cheap
B) A loser
C) Frugal
2) Do you believe the guideline that an engagement ring should equal two months salary?
A) Yes, but only if he makes at least $5,000 a month, if not, then it should be more.
B) Yes, that's about right
C) It should be what he can afford, as a diamond is a symbol of love, not a symbol of wealth.
3) Do you believe that the type of car someone drives is indicative of the kind of person they are?
A) Yes, a guy with a hot car is a hot guy
B) Yes, a guy with a hot car is someone with a problem
C) No, a car is just a piece of machinery.
So, how'd you do? How many A's, B's, and C's did you go for?
If you answered mostly A, you are a greedy gold digging whore.
If you answered mostly B, you are a conceited high maintenance bitch.
If you answered mostly C, then you are a liar, cause you know you chose A + B.
On the other hand - guys who think that A or B is right for these questions. You've already been trained by women, whether you realize it or not.
Penile Discrepancies - Question 3 Men?
Does anyone else get zits on their penis in the summertime?
I have seen a doctor, who confirmed that its not an STD on my male member, just sweaty, oily junk that plumps my penile pores past perfection. It is not nearly as fun popping zits off your penis as it is puncturing puss filled fluid funbags on your face.
Frankly, when attempting to exude white goo from my nether regions, I would rather massage the shaft then pinch the pimple.
Anyone else get these malicious marring meat markings in the monsoon season and heat filled summers?
Wanted / Needed ...
I need a Treadmill. I dont have any money, so it must be FREE.
I dont have anyway to pick it up and I have 10 thumbs.
So I will ned you to deliver it and install it for me. Make sure it works, I dont want junk. By the way I am on the 3rd floor of a new apartment building so bring some helpers.
Please serious replies to this post only.
Harry Potter
If you haven't heard the real guy who plays Harry Potter is dating an Asian girl.
It seems perfectly clear to me!"... I think she likes his wand!
The problem with LIFE is No One Cares ...
That CL is a Sad Place ...
I'd rather spend my time being a news zombie and posting with real people, than some sperm burper like most of them on CraigsList trolling various CL Boards looking for a butt buddy, and posting NONSTOP CONSPIRACY BULLSHIT!
Now all CL Posters go jerk-off and die already.
You're sucking up my oxygen.
This is my new board now !!!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.
Good girls 44-38-52
Bad girls 36-24-37
Men are Murders, Rapist, and Liars ...
It's fun for them, they can even have orgasisms before, during and after killing. Especially if torture is involved.
You might be killed by a terrorist but you are more likley to be killed by a boyfriend or a husband.
They always have a reason to blame the victim so don't become one.
wake up girls
Hey,
It's your own fault.
Stop being a bitch.
Stop dressing like a slut.
Stop being a skanky ass ho.
Then these rapes would not become murders.
When women kill....
Men go NUTS!!! Oh my God, what a sick psycho bitch!!!
But when a man kills a woman some dumb fuck posts this " If women would STFU and suck my dick, she won't get killed"
And this is the norm they aren't completly useless though ... they do often kill each other.
Martha would say "That's a Good Thing"
The War in Iraq
Can we please start calling it what it is?
It's a "BOTCHED OCCUPATION"!
Please make a note of that ........
re, Wake Up Girls
Go back to bed, you are not ready for the day. You sound angry and defensive...that is the first sign of an abuser. So go take a nice warm bubble bath and tuck yourself in your bed. Don't come out until you are calm. Stay away from your kids, no reason to hurt them just because you are hurting.
Men are Murders, Rapist, and Liars ...
STFU and learn 2 suck the wang then men wont get upset with you, and kill you.
Men are useless tampons.
Remember Girls -
You have the pussy so you make the rules.
Dear Girlfriend,
Don't worry baby. I won't be here long. We're going to talk about all of this in a little while, and one of two things will happen. We'll either make it all better and clear it all out, or I'll be on my merry way to find someone that accepts me as I am, with all of my good points and the things I am working on to improve.
Someone that is forgiving when my brain isn't working properly and I forget things.
Someone that accepts that I am not perfect, that I too have rough days, and doesn't mind (too much) if I let loose a fart from time to time.
Love,
Your Boyfriend.
re, Tampons
If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.
Jesus loves you, but I think your a BITCH!
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the fuck out!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.
Liberals. PETA, and Politicans ...
Dwell on this factoid -
92.3% of animal sex crimes are commited by Mexicans.
Man with small one - m4w - age 47 - seeks:
Okay, I know that I have 3 strikes against me. I'm married, which means in a lot of women's eyes I don't have a 'license' to even THINK about having sex. I'm not young, so I don't have youth on my side. I'm not well endowed, which means that I'm not in demand under any circumstances. But I'm not dead yet, I hope. Look, my wife has no interest in intimacy, so I have no other options.
I'd like to find a woman, age/race/weight unimportant, who would like to get together for mutual oral. I'm D/D free & you should be too. I don't want to have any barriers between us.
Please don't ask me for money. I'm not looking for a hooker.
I live in the Phoenix AZ area.
Pls reply here.
Litterbug ...
If I wasn't driving a company car, I would have pulled you out of your car by your hair and made you eat the trash you threw out on the street. You white trash piece of shit! You thought you were so cute when you did it, smiling at your boyfriend. You're nothing but a waste of space and air. If you don't respect the land, then go throw yourself in the dump. No one will miss you....trust me.
And, this foes for litterbugs everywhere, I amwatching.
The BMW 745i is the best Penis extension money can buy.
LOL - LMAO over the previous post about the BMW
To: The Prosecutor, My Lousy Legal Aide Defense Attorney, The Judge, The 12 Idiots known as Jurors, and The Prison System for ....
My life behind vars, it has changed me forever. My true sex desires came out when i met big bubba an big butter bean. I never realized just what I was missing. Everyone complains about prison, well I'll do your time. Free meals, showers, a shitter, and plenty of free cock for my tight young (when I arrived virgin) ass. Thanks again you ass clowns.
Hope to see you in jail soon. I'll be the giver then.
re, Your Friend the Inmate ...
I was wrong, your head WILL fit up your ass.
re, Your Friend the Inmate
Ahhhh Prison sounds like a Gay Vacation Destination
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
I support Illegal Immigration when ...
Chihuahuas fly out of my ass!
A warning to all cats
This is the last bird I will have to bury in my back yard. I will use the paint ball gun first. If the cat returns, it is the dumpster. Please keep your cats indoors or on leashes. Fair warning. The barbed wire was an idea, but the cameras and the 22 long range will be sufficient.
Please do not feed stray cats, call the humane society or buy trap cages.
Enough is enough!
Gone Wireless long long time ago -
After having dug to a depth of 50 feet last year, Mexican scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Mexicans, in the weeks that followed, Texans scientists dug to a depth of 75 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the Houston newspapers read:
"Texas archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Mexicans."
One week later, "Navajo Nation Council", in its Window Rock, Navajo times newsletter reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 90 feet in wash beds near Kayenta, Elmer Chee, a self taught archeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Chee has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Natives had already gone "wireless."
It's called the Drums (tom tom, 2 u white people).
Its rush hour.. TAILGATING IS TO BE EXPECTED!
Two types of rush hour drivers really push me to the brink of road rage.
1. The idiots that tap their breaks to let you know they are uncomfortable with you so close to the back of their car.
2. The idiots that drive even slower than the mind numbingly slow pace of rush hour. In otherwords, its stop and go traffic and these guys need 5+ car lengths between them and the car infront of them to feel comfortable. And of course, they keep getting cut off so they keep slowing down more and more which causes traffic behind them to backup even more as people are trying desperate to switch lanes and get out from behind this bozo.
Thank you thats all.
FOR ALL THE MEN THAT SAY THEY CAN GIVE ORAL FOR HOURS - - -
Not only should oral sex not take hours, neither should intercourse. When I was in my twenties I thought this was the norm, including pain and a burning rash.
Now that I have taken over the job of bringing myself to orgasim it takes two minutes for the first one and two more minutes for the next three.
Afterwards I am not exhausted...I am invigorated...which is a good thing because I have a business to run and kids to care for.
Vick is a project thug
you can take the nigger out of the projects give him a millions of dollars but you will never take the project nigga out of him because he will always be a thug foever.
Illegal aliens ate my baby
iPhone a Trojan Horse For Government Surveillance?
An alarming white paper concludes that the Apple iPhone contains a backdoor spyware module that allows hackers or the government to conduct secret surveillance of the user, part of an established trend of corporations and the state working hand in hand to eavesdrop on citizens via widely-used software and hardware products.
slipping into lunacy are we
The FDIC guarantees depositors their money in case a bank folds, they don't guarantee home loans or credit cards. Those are covered by reserves held by the lending institution and closely scrutinized by both shareholders and the government. BofA is so big that a few million in bad loans won't even make a dent.
If an illegal is working with my S.S.#, I will catch it when I review my S.S. statement sent to me each year.
I would be much more concerned if an illegal used my I.D. to give to the cops if arrested and did a no-show at the hearing.
Important Political Notice .....
Bush to cede power to VP during colonoscopy.
WASHINGTON - President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy Saturday and temporarily hand presidential powers over to Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House said.
Press secretary Tony Snow told reporters Friday that Bush will have the procedure done at his Camp David, Md., mountaintop retreat.
Bush last underwent colorectal cancer surveillance on June 29, 2002.
Damn Scary ......
Cheney to be acting President
This weekend while King George is in the hospital Cheney will be acting president.
The question is what day this weekend will martial law be declared.
Probably after an "attack" this weekend.
Warning -
Beware of bitches on PMS
Hello,
I cant stop jacking off in the sink...I love to watch it go down down down.
Just Some Advice ...
Dog Owners, you see thier dogs licking their face all the time -
Do you realize that ALL dogs lick their butts?
That is why Mom said never let the dog lick your face.
re, Hello
I want you to do the chores that I asked you to do before you start playing on Dad's computer, remember that was our agreement. You must stop annoying these people; Dr. Sphincter said; if you don’t take your medication regularly you will have to go back to the hospital. And please stop whacking off in the bathroom sink.
re, Hello
Had to shovel the cow crap out of the drive first. But I'm on my way over to watch now.
q Dog and 2 cats
Like every single girl, I have pets. 2 cats and a 1 dog.
I go to work everyday, people say "Don't you have a lint brush?" I really don't care if I have hair on my clothes. Just something I don't notice. I love when I say "No, I really don't care" and they say something stupid like "I'm allergic." Great, then get the hell away from me.
The best thing, though, is having a dog to clean up the cat puke. The dig even eats hairballs! Too awesome, since I will never have to clean up the mess.
Although, I wish I could train the cats to eat the dog puke because that, my friends, has got to be the most disgusting thing. A huge, steaming pile. Luckily, it doesn't happen often.
The dog never even pukes up a hairball she's eaten. Every once in awhile, she even cleans the litter box for me.
Dogs love to eat cat shit. And cat puke. And hairballs.
re, Working girl -
You got to be the dumbest bitch on this planet.
And, you probably wonder why you're still single.
Don't figure huh?
Where can I find
Hot Mexican chicks with mustaches?
It tickles my lips when we kiss.
My Girl Has a Poop Fetish
Ohhhh ...... yea girl. I had a double quarter lb. cheeseburger for lunch today and now I'm cookin' up a good one for ya. You're gonna wanna marry me when I'm done with you tonight.
Executive Order
I shit on America
Danger Will Robinson
PMS =
Positively Mental Syndrome
Permanently Moronic State
Perfectly Mean Shithead
Potty Mouth Slut
Big 1
Yes I have a big 1, girls just keep drooling over it. They want it, so I give it to them.
Good Morning World,
Just waking up, had me sum T.A.P.
Went on a date last night.
Got a little tipsy.
Went out to this guy's car, gave him oral sex.
He had the largest amount of semen I've ever seen. I thought it would never stop gushing out.
Took two 16 Oz Buds just to wash it down.
WANTED: Your dog's photo in My Book!
I have written a very cool concept cookbook and I am looking for cute dog photos to put in it. No modeling experience necessary. I am looking for EVERYDAY DOGS OF AMERICA. All sizes, shapes, and colors are welcome. If you are interested please send me your dogs photo along with their name, and anything interesting you would like to tell me about them. I cannot offer payment should your dog be selected. I can only offer the intrincic value of your best friend being seen by millions! I have big dreams that this book WILL be a best seller.
Looking forward to your photos!
NEW DELHI - India elected Pratibha Patil as the country's first female president Saturday in a vote seen as a victory for the hundreds of millions of Indian women who contend with widespread discrimination.
Personally I think the voters were confused, they must have been told that the election was to vote for the uglist woman in India, becoz that bitch would chase a shadow from a sun dial.
I luv stray CATS. They make great food for my snake.
re, A Girl That Loves Oral -
Hey stupid are you aware you can get STDs from Oral Sex?
re, A Girl That Loves Oral
Baby I am available.
I'll bring the beer you bring them lips.
re, Girl Loves Oral
I got a pet male monkey it is really in heat and horny, want to try someting new?
I'll furnish the beer and the video camera, you do th rest.
What I need is a cup of coffee, and a some dude that does windows.
What are the conspiracy nuts trying to accomplish? I'd bet their appliances talk to them.
Halo, Small Handyman !
I'ms have Energy drink to sale for you, will make you grow 3 inch, then you not be small handyman anymore, be big like Dekembe Mutombo, mines hero !
Maybe you need bigger wage for workers too, 10, 12 dollar per hour is peanuts, even for in Nigeria, where all are black and poor, too poor to watch Bernard Hopkins and Liberian Elite fight for new Hummer, on HBO pays per view, tonight.
I'ms read Tarot cards also, cards say, you too cheap.. want keeps all money for himselfs, not helps Mexicans or White devils.
Even Indians who drink too much alcohol can see this is true.
Cards also say, good-bye to you, Dennis Greene, you jost a small handyman, now.
Your Fren,
Steve and Edie Amin
New Bush Bumper Sticker -
Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant.
FREE Stuff
Halo, I Haves Electric Kool-Aids for to Sell, CHEEP !
I'ms have several cases left-overs from Jim Jones, needs to to sale CHEEP ! tonight, for you. I needs seeing Bernard Hopkins vs. David Koresh, live from Winky Wright's house, in Nigeria, my homes country.
Jost sends only money, no checks. Please, drive carefully after drinking and dying.
God Bles. (Grape only flavor, but still good)
Your Fren,
Pope Muhammed Moses Rabbi Satan Buddha Warlock the IV
that last post maks me pee muhself
re, pee mushelf
You are one mother-loving suck-ass sycophant. Your nose is the prettiest shade of shit-brown.
The Tide is High but I'm moving on, I'm gonna be your number one.
I going under the table now to give you head at Chilli's.
Nothing screams Ghetto Trash like.............
A nigga who can't produce a post on CL without using a 4-letter word that begins with "F."
Child learns a hard lesson - kind of gross
So my son wouldn't leave the kitten alone - all the "meow"ing in the world he continued to hold the cat - well the CAT had to use the litter box I guess because the CAT crapped all over him.
He will no longer hold the kitty when it meows.
re, Child learns his lesson
Did you kill the CAT ?????
Children are more important than animals, if you cant learn that you are a defective human being and should NOT be allowed to breed.
White Trash Clues:
White trash they like country music and tatoos.
Other tell-tale signs are:
Lifted pickup trucks with a dog
Cowboy hats
Smoking
Confederate flag
Just a few teeth
Empty beer cans
Overweight wife with low IQ
Several kids without shoes
Southern accent
Lives in a trailer
And, a criminal record is optional.
God is an imaginary friend for grown ups.
Q) Why do Jewish people have big noses?
A) Air is free.
re, White Trash Clues
Are You Black Ghetto Scum:
Some tell tale signs are:
~ Al Sharpton is on their speed dial
~ You’re a member of a street gang
~ Your biggest option in life was given to you by a Judge who said join the military or go to jail
~ Your offended when white people use the ‘N’ word but you can’t walk down the street without calling all your brothers a Nigger
~ You derive your income through – theft, prostitution, or drugs
~ Gang rapes are a way of life
~ You are on welfare
~ You complain about Southerners but southern food is your favorite vittles
~ At least one member of your family is in prison, on parole, or awaiting trial
~ You’re a Rap Music wannabee
~ If you’re a female your fat ass is so big it belongs in another zip code
~ Drugs are a way of life
~ A big decision is how to prepare your Rat for diner
~ Forget an IQ you don’t go to school you hang on the street corner watching for the police
~ On Father’s Day you run around asking everyone you see, ‘Are you my Daddy?’
SMILE
In desperate need for people in America to smile ..... it is free!
TEST
This is a Test of the craigslist network -
Can you see we have left and came here?
Rant and Raves......
So easy a CAVEMAN can do it !
Have you seen my brain ????
I am addicted to craigslist but I need help.
I promise to give up Craigslist and only post here with the intelligent human species.
Tisk Tisk
Nothing else matters,
when a pussy smells like a flower
re, Black Ghetto Scum
You forgot to add ...
* Break Dancing on the sidewalk
* Street Racing
* Obsessive basketball playing
* Illegal Dog Fighting
* Dressing in clothes that are 3 sizes too damn big
* Beating up defenseless homeless people
* Pimping
* Talking Trash
Move Over the Gay Community Needs Room
I have masturbated twice this morning to two different porn websites.
re, Test
CL is too brain dead too listen, pls move on.
Girls trim those bushes weeds are bad for the flower garden.
News Flash : Michael Vick Buys PETA for 58 Million Dollars
Promises to rehome ugly women who are pet owners..for FREE, AND in an astonishing gesture of goodwill... he Hires Dr. Phil to bring all Turtles out of their shells !
OMG !
THE HUMANITY THIS MAN SHOWS IS UNDENIABLE !
Vibrators
Soon, we will all succumb to robot overlords.
Re, Vibrators
Yea, but a vibrator can't slap the shit outta you and say who's your Daddy.
re, Vibrators
Vibrators were invented so that fat or ugly and otherwise unwanted females can get something stiff near them and pretend they don't need a man around, which of course they couldn't get in a million years.
From an old cock hound ...
If you get emotionally attached and begin to love the pussy and get needy you LOSE and the bitch will soon have you insane with your balls in her purse and your life a living hell. The trick? Take all you can, fuck the pussy and when it gets miserable move on. There is another shallow wanton materialistic one just around the corner believe me, so do not despair just get the pussy and don't care and you will do fine with the special ones-or so they really think. Now you have your marching orders and some insights can you handle it...the moment of truth is nearer than you think.
A recent national survey of workers shows the two most annoying things from co-workers are:
1) Loud talking, especially about personal issues and hygiene
2) Smelly lunches
re, vibrators
They work well when used in conjunction with a butt plug.
re, vibrators
Remember girls they can chip your teeth.
So try a banana ...
LOL
Men over 40 should know better
Today you'd have to be an idiot to have assets and get married. Marriage today is nothing like how it used to be. The average length is between 8 and 9 years. That's it your done! Sadly people are still doing it over and over. And if you break that down into demographics it's much shorter. This has little to do with the "men over 40" issue but it's these men who are pulling down the cash the money grubbing leaches and banking on taking in those "8 to 9 years."
re: men over 40
Male Gang Mentality
Uh Oh, the Bald Brigade is pissed they need back up!
Guys remember to stand up straight -
Men function better erect.
NEWS FLASH - This just in:
Vice President Dick Cheney will have his battery changed on his heart defibrillator implant.
(heehee.......MORE proof that we have a bunch of DILDOS in office!)
LOL
Pacifist's Formal Eviction Notice:
Fine, Criminal Behaviors. Let's take a more pacifist approach.
If you don't already own a gun, buy one. Learn how to dismantle and reassemble. Take a seat on the couch and start gun maintenance routine (disassemble, clean, oil, etc.). When roommate comes home or into the room say:
"Hey, by the way... I've been meaning to talk to you about this living situation..." (Replace spring and barrel)
"It's really not workin out for me so much any more..." (Replace barrel assembly on stock)
"Perhaps you should look into getting your own place now, how does end of the week sound?" (Slide barrel back to cock gun, then hit the release switch[Loud "CLACK"])
"That won't be a problem... will it?" (Start loading up clip with rounds, wait for reaction)
Two news choppers down, let's hope more follow:
I'm sick of the news and traffic choppers flying around over my house every morning.
1. We don't need idiots in helicopters to know the traffic.
2. We don't need idiots in helicopters flying around celebrating illegal fugitives running from the law.
3. We don't need helicopters polluting the air with noise and waste.
I applaud the fact that four of these idiots were weeded out by the natural process of Darwinism.
After all cats are dog food:
Women who is a cunt who can't have a man own cats. But of course all of you BBW have cats. Cats are just rodents cuz all they do is come around to eat your food.
Dogs are mans best friend for a reason ... they never screw over thier owners becoz a DOG is man's best friend unlike most of you human bitches.
Cant we all just get along ???
Attention ALL of upi bicycle riding jerk offs:
Ride on the right side of the road (street) with trafic, and learne to obey the trafic laws.
Also stop wearing that ugly ass spandex, especially if you are a male or some fat broad who hangs off the seat.
TV News Choppers -
These damn things are no different than some paparazzi asshole chasing a celeb in their vehicle.
In this day and age with crowded skies and terrorist lurking NO one should be allowed in the air that ins't needed (militray, police, and commercial airliners).
We all need a realty check ...
I hate those damn copters flying over my house. Screw these news crews hope more die real soon. Unfortunately they will probably kill innocent people on the ground next time.
re, Bicycles -
Those damn stupid walkers and joggers are worse, They give these people sidewalks so why the hell are they always in the street?
re, joggers
I agree what's worse is when they leave their subdivisions and what to jog along the friggin highway.
Looking for a Bi Polar Woman not on her Meds:
Just came out of a really bad relationship with a mentally distraught lady who's idea of fun was to have me try to communicate with 4 of the people in her head while I watch TV. Seems her father was to blame for her unbalanced behavour during her formative years. I guess I was the lab rat that she could take out her demonic torture on for a while. The many fits and seizures she displayed over the many months made my dick crawl up inside my scrotum and hide for fear of it's life. Her mother went to the same school and she graduated with honours now her husband has given up his spine as he curls up in the fetal position on the couch proving he has no worth. He is 1 testicle short because the other one is in her purse.Got real tired of the cussing and the threats every minute of the day, especially when I brought home a new girlfriend. That did'nt make her happy at all. I had many thoughts about pushing her in front of the Central bus but I'am sure you can't kill the devil. When she resorted to sleeping with sharp knives under the pillow, I felt it was time to move on. So I'am now a free man even though I don't think the restraining order will hold water but looking to jump back into it again. So if you spit green vomit and cuss verbal filth at the cat and pictures turn around as you climb the stairs and the TV goes fuzzy as you stroll by, then you are for me!
To my x-wife - -
Brunettes are cool but blondes are hot.
I'd rather have a skank bitch that puts out than have your dead useless ass lying next to me in bed !!!
re: To my wife.
I got a screwed up skank to!
She is so nasty, she sucks me off while jacking off 2 old men with her hands and scewing 2 more young dudes with her feet while taking it in the rear from some guy that look like Ricky Recardo, and getting boob banged by my best friend.
All this while I am watching Judge Judy.
I love her skank whire ass!
Men who love vaginas
Boys have a penis.
Girls are just vaginas.
America's best Sheriff is Joe Arpaio
Muslim Terrorist are really feather pillow masturbaters who want some loving from their mommy but get anal sex at the Mosque from their asshole clerics instead.
Has anyone seen Lindsay Lohan's well manicured lady parts?
Philosophy 101:
Religion and Karma are for idiots and bed wetters.
re, Philosophy 101
Philosophy 102 is for Lesbians and Gays on don't ask don't tell or how to beome a closet homo
re, Philosophy 101 and 102:
Philosophy 103:
The KKK is alive and well !!!!!!!
Philosophy
Stop it them niggas wont understands this educated stuffs.
I takes me one of then their IQ test and gots a 70.
Thats goods right?
Donts thats mean I is smarter than 70% of everyone else?
Relationships:
Alcoholics and Drug users are useless sniveling pieces of shit. Give them no sympathy ..... put the nastards out on the street, may be a car will run over them, but at least you will be rid of them.
Good Morning All
Just got ne some early morning bump and grind - great way to start the day, dont you think?
Good Times - - - -
600,000 Iraqis are now dead, but who cares they are only Muslims and that means we wont have to deal with them later.
HATE HATE HATE
Why don't you tell us how you really feel. Damn talk about karma and religion.
re, cats are dog food
Dude, you really have issues, but they are all good.
Re, Cats are dog food
Promise me you'll get some therapy carrying a dead cat.
Re, Cats are dog food
Remember to put you CAT in the blender before you serve it to the dog.
Weddings or how a man stops being a man and places his balls in a women's purse forever.
More craigslist Idiots Selling Things
This was posted on CL Phoenix today:
For Sale: One Saguaro cactus. $800.00 - 128 inches tall. You move.
This idiot in Fountain Hills doesn't understang:
1) You can buy one of these planted for $50.00 per foot.
2) They are protected you need a permit to move it or cut it dwon. Plus digging it up and replanting is expensive and takes an experienced landscaper.
Arizona has the most greedy ass bastards I've ever seen.
The 12 Step Recovery Program For Web Addicts:
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the signing onto the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of using the Web.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web but I will not use a cellphone while driving ro accomplish this.
7) I will read a book... if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check my email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy surfing the Web.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!
Hello Fat People -
YOUR FAT is contagious, don't you read the papers and watch CNN?
Remove yourself from the population, AT ONCE !
Who Really Gives A Crap
I think, as I am sure many others do, that there is a fine line between debating an issue, and instigating one!
For you losers:
So you want 2 meet women -
where to meet woman .. and really wanna get lucky?
Try the local welfare office...
Just catch one of them Lucy's walking out with a welfare check
You might get yourself a 6-pack and some temporary nookie.
I wish I could keep track of all the euphemisms used by the ladies who post personal ads, for 'fat'.
"Curvy"
"Voluptuous"
the dreaded "BBW"
"fuller in figure"
And on and on and on. Look, a little meat on the bones is one thing but fat is fat, and all these women are FAT in fact they are Fat Unwanted Cows so stop advertising yourselves, you are not wanted!
re, Fat -
When the real aliens from outer space come we will feed all the FAT people to them, after all traveling a billion miles can amke anyone hungry.
re, fat:
What's really bad is these cows want skinny good looking men with great bodies like they have a snowballs chance in Hell of getting one.
Wet Wipe Blacky only goes to the gym to ogle other guys in the locker room. The only weights he lifts is their balls on his chin.
I am sick of people saying they are giving greater then 100%. A 100% is as high as it goes you dumb asses.
I Need a Mexorgasm Right Now:
Mexorgasm is what happens after the Border Patrol leaves your block with over 100 brown people stuffed in green and white trucks, and the carnival music fades. That's when Americans get a Mexorgasm. Remeber folks I am for the melting pot scenario for legal aliens. I want us to be a melting pot, not a pot of beans, you know? Big difference.
Lets Clean Them Out Soon
Ice Road Truckers:
These are some crazy asses! Driving on huge frozen lakes and listening to the ice crack under their trucks. Minus 40 degress outside and they're driving in this frozen waste land. I don't know if I should call them nuts or if they have gonads bigger than elephants. The crap these guys go through to make money so women can have their diamonds and furs is ridiculous!
What I have observed and what some have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by their behavior is abudantly clear.
Want to meet a serial killer in the making?
Just visit any Craigslist RnR Board but the ones in Phoenix are really bad.
Gay Bicyclists
I owned a bicycle shop for about 10 years. I have to admit the Gay community was some of my best customers. Their money spends just as well as others. I personally have sold a $1,300 mountain bike to a guy in a pink dress. Who cares!
A (M)exorcisim:
That's when a Border Agent chokes a Mexican and prevents another child leech on society from being born.
BBW really means:
Beached Blubbering Whale
(Q) How do you make 5 pounds of fat attractive?
(A) Put a nipple on it!
I cheated on you -
Dear PC Laptop with Windows:
It's finally over, I met someone else. You did a lot for me, don't think I don't appreciate it. But you complain, and you purposely take a long time to do anything I ask so as to frustrate me. Instead of troubleshooting with me, you decided to crash out and sleep.
I found a new partner, his name is Mac. And don't get all racial because he's white and you're black, it has nothing to do with that. You are one sexy laptop, you're bigger but it isn't size that matters to a girl, it's how you work what you've got. Plus Mac has a dual processor, kinky I know, but it turns me on. I saw you glare at Mac when you got home from that third trip to computer rehab.
re, BBW - -
WTF? You don't like those jelly rolls, arm fat, cottage cheese lump legs and cankles? i don't understand what's unattractive about all that. it's just lumpy fat. mmmm ... sign me up.
re, BBW -
BIG BLOATED WALRUS
Someone said this once before about craigslist - But it needs repeating again .....
CL posters, you dirty little mindless twerps really need to frigging get over yourselves.
If you regulars especially on the Phoenix RnR Brd dont want darts thrown at you then wake up there is a life outside other than the friggin computer.
That is why I now post to this new alternate craigslist R-n-R ...
It is where an occasional poster comes not some insane compuslive posting jackasses like found on CL.
Inteligent people are now posting here.
Why because we have a life other than the goddamn computer.
Just a simple question...
How is it that someone can post an ad in a personals column and state they are attractive when clearly they are not?
i mean WTF is that all about?
Did someone tell them they are attarctive, pretty, or what, like may be their grandma, parents, the blind neighbor, their music tracher?
For the love of god I would like to see attractive actually be that very same thing.
re, carrying on the BBW talk
To your fat mothers house you go -
Obesity is Not Beautiful
Now I know you hope for nothing more than your listed assumptions to be true about me but you can't always get what you want.
There is a big difference between a girl that may be 10 lbs over weight and one that is 50lbs plus over weight.
Fat is just that FAT, now come on say it ...
You Are FAT !!!
re, Is it a BBW or obese?
I can't tell the difference.
Oh wait!
There IS NO difference.
re, just a simple question:
It is quite simple. Yes they are told that by stupid parents and relatives all their life, or by some psycho babble thearpist / counselor.
Have you ever seen the try outs for American Idol ???
Those people amke my ears hurt - they are the same, their parents and family tell them they can sing and they sound like fingernails on a chalkboard.
BUYING or selling GUNS on CL a BIG NO NO ...
OK TO BUY a HOOKER go figure!
Hamburgers:
So the other night, I'm in serious need of a little hot beef. No, the OTHER kind of hot beef, a hamburger. I roll up to Wendy's and order a number 4 -- the Big Bacon Classic, right? WRONG, my friends. The Big Bacon Classic is no more, and in its place, Wendy -- that sweet little girl with the red pigtails -- has masterminded an extraordinarily terrifying sandwich known to all as (wait for it...) THE BACONATOR.
My memory of ingesting this burger is both traumatic and sketchy, but I seem to recall it being made up of over 47 half-pound patties, 394 slices of American cheese, and all the bacon resulting from the slaughter of the giant pig I saw for 75 cents at the state fair in 1996... all piled onto approximately four square inches of bun. It weighed about half as much as I do and was larger than my entire head. It came with fries. And when I finished eating it... I died.
I can't quite work out what this means to the world at large, but you wouldn't be able to either if you were suffering from Post Traumatic Burger Disorder, had all the cholesterol from that burger clogging up your brain... tube... thingies... and were dead.
In summation: Wendy is an evil supergenius, and please for the love of god save yourself and DON'T. ORDER. The Baconator.
re, BBW
We have become a nation of fat asses.
This is all due to liberals and that 'Being Politically Correct' nonsense that you cant tell someone they are FAT even when they are.
re, B B W
Shameful you all are.
Hello,
Please don't bother me, I am complicated.
re, complicated:
I have Depression Issues ...
I haven't been able to piss on anyone today !!!
LOL
Is A Depression Coming?
Stock markets have been around for hundreds of years. Typically the average is one depression in every 100 years so we are about due for one. The government has protection measures in place to guard against an economic depression but you know how well all the other government programs work. My opinion is that there will be a depression because this country doesn't produce very many tangible items anymore. This country has become the land of middle men. And, nobody is responsible. For example, a weatherman doesn't lose his job if he screws up. The lawyer keeps his job if you go to jail. The doctor still makes his money whether you live or die. The stock broker makes his money whether your stock goes up or down. Universities sell degrees that are worthless and yet they keep selling them. Insurance companies make record profits but don't pay out. Sooner or later this no responsibility economy will crash. It's a simple fact, you can't keep taking without giving back - no matter what the government says.
I dream of Hot Bikini Races across my bed.
re, dreaming
Did someone always tell you that you were normal?
re, more on that BBW
How do you chubby chasers stomach that flab?
What's the deal guys, can't you see past a woman's looks?
Lets go NY Mets
Q) Who do BBW black women date after their man leaves?
A) Each other !!!!
So, I need your advice.
I'm a super attractive girl and love my body, but I have small breasts. I feel like it makes me less of a woman, seriously. I'm 26, and I desperately want some implants. Do you think I should get them?
I want a bustingly full C cup or maybe a small D size.
How should I earn money for a killer boob job?
Would you give me money if I asked for it?
NO - I won't strip for cash, before you suggest that!
All this talk about BBW.
Lets discuss the other side.
I had me a skinny girl last weekend.
How skinny you ask?
Well I had to stick it in soft and wait for it to get hard and I could still here her bones cracking.
re, Boob Job ....
If you are really attractive get yourself a website, take some pictures of yourself and put them up.
Then ask people to send in donations for a new set of boobs.
re, boobs
anything more than a full mouth full is a waste.
re, boob job
save money, date men with small hands they will think your tits are big
re, skinny
Yeah well last weekend I went out with a midget.
I just sat her on top of my big wang and spun her around like a top.
re, skinny
Got that beat, I went out with a tall cheeerleader with very long legs. I just put both legs behind her head and spun her like a top on my super sized penis stick.
re, skinny
I had me a super thin woman once. She was so skinny when I stuck it in she farted.
re, petite woman
My girl is so tiny and thin that when I have an orgasm it oozes out her nose.
re, BBW
No problem with sex and fat women.
Just slap their thigh real hard and ride the waves right in.
re, duh
My sex is better than you sex
re, bbw, skinny, petite
I think all of you have been Simpson-ized.
Now run out and get yourself a BK Whopper and settle down.
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